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ANROCHE & Sam: Separated at Birth?
September 17, 2008 - Summer Wallace-Minger
There have been questions. Questions about my new dedication to the Pirates, and whether or not I have been shilling them because they're also Team Nutting.
These questions will be answered. Just read on.
Q: Summer Dawn, we thought you didn't like baseball!
A: This is true. I don't like it. It takes too long, and there is a very low chance of blood flying. Not my cup of tea. However, my son and husband love it. Time spent with the family is never wasted, even at the ballpark.
Q: A couple weeks ago, you said you hated the Pirates and wished them ill.
A: Also not true. I am most frustrated with how awful they've been, because it stinks living in a house with two Pirates fans when they've descended to these depths. Besides, I don't bet against my own team -- Team Nutting -- ever. I want us to kick ass and take names, whether we're newspapering or playing baseball. That adds a whole new shade of pain.
Q: Can't you spell Mientkiewicz?
No, I can't. I can't pronounce it, either, and I refuse to try and make myself look like an idiot. That is why he's Doug Unpronounceable Name at our house. He joins the ranks of Sam the Eagle and That Dirty Hippie (even if he has cut off that scraggly mop) of Pirates whom I can actually identify by looking at them. It's an honor, seriously.
Q: That's dumb. You can't spell your favorite player's name!
Doug Unprounceable Name is not my favorite player. He's got a warrior heart and a never-say-die spirit. I admire that.
My favorite player is Nyjer Morgan. That dude hustles. Every time. The importance of hustle can not be overstated.
And I can spell Nyjer. So there.
Q: Don't you think it's unwise to compare your publisher with an Evil Overlord?
A: I didn't say he was evil. I said he had minions, like an evil overlord. Just so no one gets the wrong idea about Alex, I will now refer to him as the Commander in Chief. It has a more positive connotation, even if it's not as fun to say.
Jason&Jeremy are so totally his aides-de-camp.
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This is Sam the Eagle. He is a muppet. Sam's the one on the right, by the way. That other guy is Liberace.