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Snow Removal and Batcaves
December 3, 2008 - Summer Wallace-Minger
"If I have to scrape ice off of my car," I told my husband this morning, "I will be very annoyed."
He was unimpressed. No one is impressed with my annoyance. Some day, when I hit the numbers (after I start playing the numbers) I will go somewhere will people will be impressed by my annoyance. And where it is warm.
I hate scraping the windows and brushing off the car because, no matter what, I get snow and other wet and unpleasantly cold stuff in my shoes, mostly because they are dress shoes. They are also very slippy. Slippy dress shoes which leave the top of your foot exposed to the elements, protected only by thin, noninsulating-but-ready-to-run-at-the-slightest-provacation hose plus snow equals sadness in the morning.
The thing is, when you are not very tall, it is almost impossible to reach the middle of the windshield. So you have to lean against the car. The stone dead cold metal car. In fact, I don't think that even stones get as cold as metal. Your tongue can't get stuck to cold stone, can it? Someone go lick a rock and get back to me.
In the Herald-Star newsroom (which we call the HS, because we're hip like that), we were talking about Alex. Alex is the source of much gossip and speculation. I have no idea why his life is interesting to us. We're always trading stories of Alex sightings. It's like ordinary people talking about Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton, only Alex doesn't have one of those little lap dogs. Or a purse.
We were speculating on how Alex sneaks away when I am looking for him. I was of the opinion that he has a trap door in the floor of his office, and we wondered if he had one of those chairs, where you pull a lever and it becomes a slide to a below-ground lair. Like the Batcave, only it's a Publishercave. I wonder if Jason&Jeremy are his version of Alfred?
What would Alex do in a Publishercave, other than avoid me? It's an interesting question. I can't see him do a lot of brooding. He's got too sunny of a personality.
People ask me how I get away with writing blogs about Alex. The answer is simply that I am an Alice living in a Dilbert world. And everyone loves Dilbert. (DISCLAIMER: I am not comparing Alex to the Pointy-Haired Boss. Alex has good hair.)
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Mark Law has compared me to Alice. I'm not sure why.