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About Town

February 7, 2013
By CHUCK CRONIN , Weirton Daily Times

Employ these words in your conversations:

Paradigm - typical, example that serves as model.

Salient - noticeable or prominent.

Laconic - terse, concise; using few words.

Mortify - to kill, punish; to cause to feel shame.

Savant - learned person, scholar.

Fallacious - mistaken, misleading, erroneous.

Wonk - student who studies hard; to cram, grind.

Sagacious - showing keen perception, foresight.

Enigmatic - like a puzzle, hard to understand.

I was humbled to become the recipient of the Donald R. Donell Community Service Award, named for the late president of Starvaggi Industries. My grateful appreciation to the Weirton United Way for the exceptional honor.

How many words in the English language? One source on the web estimated there are 1,019,729.

Too good of a joke to pass up:

The bride was escorted down the aisle and, when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, "what are your clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "this isn't going to take all day, is it?"

Overheard: "Sure I eat a well-balanced diet. I just eat it too often."

So the police were called to an apartment. They found a woman holding a bloody three-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asked, "ma'am, is that your husband?"

The woman replied yes.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman began to sob, dropped the club and put her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him," asked the detective.

She replied, "I don't know - put me down for a five."

I read where it is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

The Mike Garan family on Scenery Drive Weirton exemplify the classic American profile of "exceptionally good neighbors. "

There was lots of rejoicing and smiles when Weirton United Way presented a gala Super Bowl Eve tailgate party at the Knights of Columbus Hall Feb. 2. The hall was packed with more than 200 civic-minded people enjoying food and beverages in celebration of not only the big game, but the opportunity to support the city's major charity. Huge thanks to all who attended. Your generosity help push the campaign to within reach of the $280,000 goal.

Kudos to WTOV-TV and First Choice America Community Federal Credit Union, major sponsors of the big tailgate party to raise funds for the 15 United Way agencies.

Congratulations to all those involved in putting this fun-filled event together. Thanks to the many local businesses who helped with a variety of auction prizes.

Kris Gillette of Weirton had the winning ticket for the grand prize of a 55-inch television and $500 gift card to the NFL Shop. Realistically, however, the real winners were the United Way agencies who feed, nourish and care for the unfortunate in our community all year-long.

At the party, it was nice to chat with my old friend, Jim O'Brien of Starvaggi Industries - a devoted United Way supporter, as was the late Don Donell, who headed the company.

Quoting Joseph Pulitzer: "A newspaper should have two roles - to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable."

"I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted."

- Author unknown.

A universal thought: "Born to golf. Forced to work."

I had never heard of "retail therapy" until recently. It means a shopping safari to uplift one's spirits.

According to news reports, the cheapest seats for Super Bowl 47 were about $2,067 in the far end of the field.

A friend of mine decided to go see a movie after a number of years of boycotting Hollywood. He said there was so much profanity that only golfers were admitted.

 
 

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