So Sunday is Mother's Day.
The kids and I have been on the hunt for the perfect flower pot - the gaudier and more unusual, the better - and fairy and gnome garden accessories for my mother, who didn't pass her gardening talents on to me.
In fact, I bought some potted flowers - the kids chose the most eye-searingly bright ones they could find - for her this past weekend, and I'm a little nervous they might die before I can hand them off.
I'm not too worried about her finding out what she's getting for Mother's Day in this column for two reasons. Firstly, I get her the same exact thing every year, so it's hardly a surprise. (She'd probably be bummed if I didn't get her an addition for her container garden.) Also, ever since I related her epic battle with the mouse and how my father declined to ride to rodent war with her, she's pretty much stopped reading my column. (I can't imagine why.)
However, I've been on the hunt for fairy and gnome garden accessories and can't find them anywhere. It's frustrating. Fairy gardens are a thing in Amish country, I guess? I don't know. I have a black thumb, and I don't get into the gardening thing much. (Although I've requested some flowering trees for the backyard as my Mother's Day gift - I've heard pears are "bulletproof," and I certainly hope so, or I'll have some withered sticks in my yard later this summer.)
However, the idea of a gnome garden is really appealing, given my fondness for gnomes. It's basically a container garden with miniature landscaping - dollhouse-sized gazebos, arbors, gates and fences, even tiny gnome-sized houses, lawn furniture, garden tools and tea sets. There's tiny little gnome figurines to populate your gardens with. (Of course, you could always go with the fairy stuff, but if a gnome is available, who wants a fairy?)
I have no idea if my mother would like a gnome garden, but I'd like to have one, so I'll give one to her, instead. So it won't die and I can visit it. I'm such a good daughter.
That is, I'd give her one if any of the area home improvement/garden stores had anything whatsoever. Even finding miniature gnomes is a hassle - in fact, gnomes are in short supply in any size. Since I refused to believe there's no demand for gnomes, I can only guess that y'all are buying up all the gnomes before I can get up there.
I've probably hit around eight different stores, from local mom-and-pop operations to the big chain operations, and nothing doing on the gnome garden front. Is there some sort of hidden store where you can get all the good stuff, and no one is telling me so I won't darken the doorway with my black thumb?
I might have to go to Amish country to find this stuff. I'll make that sacrifice - for Mom.
(Wallace-Minger, The Weirton Daily Times community editor, is a Weirton resident and can be contacted at email@example.com)