To the editor:
The Republican clown car is in need of repair. The "Cruz" control is not operational, the wheels are wobbling, the tires are bald and it's running on empty. Tea is not good fuel, and the brakes are mushy at best.
Alas, there is hope, and the possibility of change. Some moderates are trying to take the wheel back from the insane clown posse that has been careening down the mountainside at a high rate of speed, looking something like the Three Stooges drinking tea laced with crack cocaine, steroids and acid.
Did I say three? Well, even if we add Shemp and Curley Joe, there are many more stooges than three. Probably more like three dozen tea-guzzlers, slap-fighting, pulling hair, two-finger eye-poking and blunting sledge hammers on each others' empty cranial cavities.
Stepping away from this embarrassing wealth of apt analogies is not easy -this stuff writes itself. All fun aside for the moment, the following passage is an accurate picture of a Republican Party that has been hijacked by extremists without concern for the truth or health of the nation.
Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, seeks to shut down our government and risk the credit of the nation by not paying bills that we have already incurred. He also heaps praise on former Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C., our last unabashed and unapologetic racist U.S. senator. U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, thinks the president was born in Kenya. Sara Palin thinks that the queen is in charge of England. Rush Limbaugh calls college students whores for advocating contraceptives as treatment for regulation of periods while already lowering the teenage birth rate. U.S. Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., admitted that he was against Title X of the Civil Rights Act, which would allow businesses to discriminate against people for no other reason than the shade of their skin.
This dirty laundry list goes on and on and on, and it will continue until moderates of the Republican Party are able to wrest the wheel away from these disrespectful wakco jobs and steer into the shop for a much-needed overhaul.
These repairs will not be cheap, but if sanity returns to the driver's seat, the Republican Party and the nation will be much better off. I would wish luck to reasonable Republicans - do the right thing and throw those clowns out of the car.
Disclaimer: As always, I would apologize to the member of the Insane Clown Posse and to memory of Mr. Fine, Mr. Howard and Mr. Fine for any unfavorable comparison with crazy members of the tea party. How do they pack all those clowns into that tiny little car?